Wednesday, September 28, 2005

A bitch goes on vacation and all hell breaks loose...

It seems that this bitch took the right week off! Brother Rob has been doing a fantabulous job updating a bitch's blog and this bitch is grateful! But my ass is even more grateful that Brother Rob is cleaning house and my ass didn't have to weasel out of window washing duties.

Be strong, Rob Thurman...and remember - no streaks!

Anyhoo, a bitch was going to post about a certain House Majority Leader and his fall from grace. This bitch lived in Texas for 8 years and that was 7 years longer than it took my ass to realize that some Texas politicians have no shame. Rep. Tom DeLay has been a shit for quite some time and this bitch plans to enjoy his indictment for conspiracy to launder money through the sanctified RNC with the same relish my ass applies to hitting the buffet tables in Vegas!

However, a bitch simply must post about the ladies of Go Fug Yourself today.

Jessica Morgan and Heather Cocks co-author Go Fug Yourself...a blog that dishes and destroys celebrities for being fashion victims. This bitch is not a Go Fug Yourself reader, but my ass can appreciate a good read. So, a bitch was interested to read the story on these two bloggers in today’s Wall Street Journal (print edition - you have to register online so this bitch isn't going to link). The story made the front page, which isn't anything to sneeze at.

However, a bitch was unable to focus on the meat and potatoes of the article due to the picture of Miz Morgan and Miz Cocks that accompanied it.

It seems that the bloggers at Go Fug Yourself decided to dress down for their photo. Miz Morgan chose to wear a fashion top. Miz Cocks choose a teal t-shirt and jeans.

Now, a bitch is no fashionista. Basically my wardrobe consists of various tops and pants that can be combined with no mental effort. My ass does like shoes, but anything that smashed my toes doesn't make it into my closet.

A bitch is concerned. Go Fug Yourself has made its reputation by pointing out the atrocious fashion "don'ts" many celebrities fall victim to. Wouldn't you think that they would go all out for their big Wall Street Journal debut?

Okay, if we go ahead and give them the fact that they don't need to be fashion divas to dish on fashion violations (see Joan Rivers and her clone...err, child Melissa), there is still the problem of selective dishing.

A bitch was shocked to learn that their day jobs are working for Growing Up Gotti and America's Top Model. Now, a bitch has never seen America's Top Model...my ass avoids most reality television. But this bitch has seen Growing Up Gotti and my ass would certainly hope that Victoria Gotti is a daily feature on Go Fug Yourself. Shit, Miz Gotti should be an hourly feature.

A bitch is not trying to be mean-spirited...this bitch wishes these fellow bloggers well! But if my ass were exposed as a happy white man my readers would have every right to be pissed. In that spirit, this bitch hopes that the ladies of Go Fug Yourself go check themselves...in a mirror...and apply some of that fashion advice to their own fucking selves. Because you can bet your ass Nicole Kidman wouldn't have been caught dead posing in a fashion top on the cover of The Wall Street Journal!

Back to the vacation!

Toodles!

2 comments:

Absolut Billy said...

Gotti somehow got on my tivo list so it automatically records each week. I have always wondered if Victoria owns more than that one white, shorts/skorts/whatever the fuck outfit. Morning , noon and night shes wearing basically t he same thing. Going to dinner..white outfit, Italy? white outfit, funeral? white outfit

thatfarmgirl said...

The bubble has been burst. As an avid reader of GoFugYourself (the writing is the wittiest I have ever read, despite the banal subject matter), I'm so disappointed by the reveal. Alas, I'll go console myself by snuggling up in my "How Will You Remember Katrina" shirt which arrived today. Long live ABB!