Monday, August 29, 2005

Sweden, San Fran and that bitch Katrina...

A bitch had one of those weekends! My ass was up at 5am Saturday so that my morning ritual of java and cigs could take place before my journey to Columbia. A bitch attended the PROMO Equality Summit and learned tons about what’s going on in Missouri’s LGBT community. Sometimes we St. Louisans forget that we’re not the only fucking city in this state. Who knew folks from Joplin had it going on?

Anyhoo, a bitch got her activism on and then headed back. This bitch extends thanks and adoration to my friend Barbara who drove to and from Columbia! My ass was exhausted and hungry by the time we returned to St. Louis. Needless to say, this bitch consumed a three-piece Original Recipe from KFC and several vodka crans then collapsed.

Sweden...the new "it" country!
A bitch is grateful to all for the encouragement my ass received regarding my efforts to learn Swedish. Sweden is the new “it” country, chil’ren! And think of the vodka…a bitch is with AbsolutBilly on the vodka tip – one must love any country that makes good vodka! Thanks for the links and info on Swedish language resources.

A bitch knows that Swedes speak English, but my bitchy intellectual ego simply will not allow me to play the silly American. My ass is planning a trip to Sweden by 2007 (remember, a bitch is broke) and this bitch will be able to curse fluently in Swedish by then! So sayeth the bitch...

Moving on, swiftly…

ABB's Fall Travel to San Fran...
A bitch will be traveling to beautiful San Francisco in September! A dear family friend lives there and a bitch's sister has advantage miles. Do they have In & Out Burgers in San Fran? Just curious. Travel details will be firmed up soon and a bitch hopes to meet some of my West Coast readers while there…

I can stand the rain, against my window...
This bitch was troubled by that evil heifer Katrina or Ekaterina or whatever that motherfucking hurricane is named! Why New Orleans?!? Why is that bitch of a storm targeting one of my favorite cities? Since a bitch was also agitated with worry about a certain Barefoot Cajun , my ass was unable to sleep and thus woke up…well…bitchy.

Full of bitchitude and in need of java, a bitch prepared 1 cup coffee with a dash of 1% organic milk followed by Splenda, 1 Claritin, 2 Sudafed and several cigs…

ABB’s Letter to Scooter Regarding the Hurricane Factor…

Dearest Asshole,
You ignorant assed shit! My ass has tried to correct the minions that surround you because this bitch was certain that you were too dumb to fuck shit up without help. But a bitch is now wondering if the problem isn’t really you.

Once the hurricane hit Florida you should have fucking ended your vacation. What kind of fucking President takes a 5-week vacation in the middle of a war anyway? Heaven to Hell and back again, you don’t get a vacation when you don’t really work! Anyway, there you are falling off your bike daily and the motherfucking Gulf is being hit by the storm of the century!

If you are going to tell the country that you are conducting bitness in Crawford you should have the fucking ability to conduct a live press conference in the middle of a weather disaster! You dumb motherfucker! CNN had the creepiest fucked up audio coming from Crawford…made it seem like you were dialing in from Mars! Get you ass some technology…better yet; get your ass back to D.C.!

1/3 of the nations oil/gas is now either fucked or delayed due to Katrina. You’ve destabilized the Middle East and oil production in Iraq is still not at pre-war levels. Don’t you think now is the wrong time to piss Venezuela off? Your friend Paddy’s timing was really fucked…way to go, pissing off the President of an oil producing country 1 week before 1/3 of our oil supply goes on a hurricane hiatus. Asshole! Now, you can’t even take Hugo Chavez out…he just told Latin America that if he dies they should know that it was the United States that killed him. Now is not a time to send troops, motherfucker. This bitch recommends that you send a fucking doctor, because the only thing keeping Latin America off our ass is Hugo’s health. Jesus, what if he catches a cold?

A bitch wants some motherfucking work out of you Scooter. Contrary to popular opinion, a bitch is your boss. Just because my ass didn’t hire you doesn’t mean you don’t report to me. Even though a bitch is looking at ways to fire you, you are still on the clock. Perform, motherfucker! We’ve got a war, rising gas prices, social security, Medicare reform, a huge fucking hurricane and a Supreme Court confirmation to take care of.

You’ve fucked up our gas situation, produced no exit strategy for the unnecessary war, proposed no viable solution for social security's troubles, trashed Medicare and pissed off old people, and managed to have 50% of Louisiana’s National Guard in Iraq during the largest hurricane to hit the state since 1969. Are you proud? Think you accomplished a lot and need a break?

You make me sick and the thought of you getting 5 fucking weeks when the average American can’t afford to take a sick day makes me want to vomit!

You know what, never mind. Stay in Crawford. We’re probably safer that way…

Signed an AngryBlackBitch.

A bitch sends blessings and well wishes to my brothers and sisters in Katrina's path...may you look back at this storm healthy enough to bitch about it!

18 comments:

Tiger Lilly said...

Still waiting to hear from my momma & nem, but at least I know they headed for higher ground yesterday. The phones are down now, so I can't get in touch with anyone else. Stopped by Cajun's place to wish her well, too.
So sad that it takes something like this to make me wanna move back home.

You are so right about the oil connection. I swear, when you have your hand in the pot, you are likey to get burned. I don't want my home to suffer any more than it has, but I truly hope this further screws up W's plan for world domination.

Sangroncito said...

Sorry--no In & Out Burgers in San Francisco. But we have lots of other goodies to make up for it!

And let's all get together and fire Bush's ass. Or at least put a fire UNDER his sorry ass.

Absolut Billy said...

http://www.in-n-out.com/location_details.asp?id=154

There are In and Out's in SF according to their web site. First vodka, then hating LogCabin idiots, now this!! I LOVE in and out burger. Its always a frequent stop when I am in Vegas

Shark-fu said...

AbsolutBilly a bitch adores you!

notfornothin said...

after completely reading your letter to scooter, i am giving you a standing ovation at my desk at work.

Soulknitting said...

You know, I find it amazing sometimes though we are on 'different' sides of the political fence, that often I think exactly the same way about many things that you do. Jes, I'm a registered Republication, I usually vote Independant or Green (whatever the FUCK that is) and I seem to think Democrat. Must be a Redhead thing.

I also don’t get how Bush can take five weeks off even BEFORE the hurricane with how the FUEL CRISIS (which the media hasn’t NAMED yet, but it will) is going to screw us up, let alone all the ‘other’ stuff happening in and with America.

How can the OIL companies be making major profit for the year already and we’re at the tipping point on being able to afford to drive to work? It’s all dumb and so are ALL of our politicians. Glad we think so much alike actually. And I’m right with you on pro-choice and support of other methods.

Dixie said...

I've heard from my dear Barefoot Cajun and she's doing fine. I'm sure she'll check in again when she gets the opportunity.

Her brother had to stay in New Orleans for work and while the building he was in took damage, he's still okay.

monkey said...

jeezuztits. there's an in&out burger near the stuck-up marina.
333 jefferson st.
i am keeping my folks in winn parish in my thoughts and prayers. hope this hurricane does minimal damage.
s.f. eagerly awaits a bitch!

Michele in Michigan said...

Don't let this bring a tear to your eye, but I fucking LOVE you! My senile ass can't remember how I found you, but I've been reading & I'm HOOKED.

Disgusted in St. Louis said...

It was unfortunate CNN and the infotainment channels carried Bush's comments about Hurricane Katrina. I was disgusted with what Bush had to say. Bush tells residents in path of Hurricane Katrina: Don’t worry Iraq has a constitution

Francis S. said...

Sweden the new "it" country? Yowza.

Qivan said...

If i was Dubya, I'd be afraid of Bitch....

dondon009 said...

Thanks for reminding me that Scooter workd for US! how quickly we forget. I also didn't have shit to do with putting his sorry ass in there, and I would be most happy to assist you in getting his sorry ass OUT of there. Any suggestions?
Scooter needs to leave Crawford and get to those states that were devastate by Katrina. Let's see him show some concern for the poor fools that put him in office in the first place.
BTW... welcome back and are you ever planning on coming to Florida?
We have a wide variety of Vodka and yes, we stock up on cran, although we use it mostly for UTI's, we'll set some aside just for you!

Sangroncito said...

I have to eat my words...er....In and Out Burger! We do have one In and Out Burger in San Francisco at Fisherman's Wharf near the Cannery. I asked one of my friends and he told me about it. There's also at least two nearby San Francisco in Daly City and in Marin County. I almost never go to the Wharf area so that's why I didn't know about it (I live in the Mission District, home of San Francisco's best Latin food!). So I guess my punishment is eating an I&O Burger tonight.

Not Your Token said...

Shit!. This fan of the ABB would be happy to be happy to meet you as one of your biggest West Coast fans. In fact I signed up for a blog on this just to cemment here and tell you that. I must be a big fan.

BarefootCajun said...

The Barefoot Cajun is well. Thanks to everyone who stopped by my blog to check on me and to ABB for worrying about me.

My brother is being evacuated now as the new levee breach is making the water rise 1.5 inches per hour.

I'm with ABB on Scooter's ass staying in Crawford rather than visiting the damaged states. I don't want to see his monkey face on the local news saying how sorry he is when we all know he couldn't give a shit less.

disgruntled said...

Tell it BITCH! Just like it is...

I wish I could get two weeks without people calling my ass every other day asking for something or another.

fahren said...

out of his own mouth
http://www.current.tv/google/GC01015