I stay in the Shaw neighborhood. Generally, I like it. There’s a good mix of ghetto, ethnic and lib-lab city dwellers. But a bitch has had enough…enough, enough, enough… of bad-assed nappy headed heathens and the do-gooders who enable them!
The Heathens of Shaw
The heathens are the bad assed, no “parent” having, never been raised, nappy headed kids who roam the streets of Shaw. Now that they are pre-teens, they have acquired a contingent of ‘hos in training; young sassy black girls in too tight clothing with multi-colored hair and a bad-assed attitude taking notes and learning the trade.
Their goal in life? To do what they want to do, when they want to and be outside raising hell for as long as possible. This includes loud trash talking, random screaming, fights, some arson and lots of littering.
The New Neighbors
Recently, a nice super-liberal couple moved in next door. They are “county people”, which means that they lack that “mistrust of others” that city folks get. I like to call the return of county liberals to the city Reverse Flight - when liberal and/or hip white people flee the ‘burbs because they can’t stand how neo-con they have become.
They have a pre-teen, a toddler and an infant. They have a Volvo and an Instead of War sign. They also have a basketball hoop.
I know what you’re thinking. Did the heathens come and play on the new neighbor’s driveway court without permission? Did the neighbors call the cops?
Come on now, these are former-county, new to the city liberals. They authorized the nappy-headed bad-assed little shits to raise hell behind the house!
The Incident Behind the House Involving the Heathens
Three of the heathens wasted no time negotiating access to the hoop with the new neighbors. The neighbors, not being aware of the nature of these heathens and being full of do-gooderness, said sure. The heathens have been playing ball everyday until the neighbors get home. They are loud. They litter. They fight. And their numbers keep growing; three became six, six became ten, ten became 15 and, yesterday, 15 became 25. Yes… 25 nappy headed heathens and ‘hos in training raising hell in the alley behind my house.
When ABB Went Off
I was composing a nasty letter to the neighbors when our dawgs indicated that they wanted to go out to pee. I opened the door to the sight of three bad-assed children sitting on the trunk of my car watching the others try to kill each other.
ABB with attitude “Get off of my car!”
ABB willing to clarify “Get the FUCK off my car!”
Other Heathen “What she say?”
ABB remembering how to speak the language “Motherfuckers! Get your asses off my fucking car!”
They moved. Slowly and with attitude.
Little bad-assed shits!
Fuck the letter. A bitch confronted the neighbor this morning. She acknowledged the problem, but seemed unsure of what to do. I pointed out that it was her fucking problem, that one of these heathens has a passion for arson and that they had reached numbers that were an incident waiting to happen. All of which was hers to deal with and I mean deal with soon. She fretted. My neck jerked. I think she got the message.
A bitch is pissed! I mean mad! Why the fuck would you have unsupervised children playing behind your house? Where are these heathen’s parents? Are these children crazy, sitting on my fucking car like it’s a park bench? What the fuck? Why can’t people just move in, settle and avoid their neighbors like city people are supposed to do?!?
I don’t have children. I don’t dislike them, but if my ass wanted 25 children playing behind my house I would have set that shit up! And is this any way to announce your ass to the neighborhood? Because I hate these motherfuckers and they haven’t been here for a month!
“Hi, we’re your new neighbors and we’ll be inciting riots and encouraging youth violence now that we are here!”
I mean, shit! Fucked up a bitch’s evening and made me have to cuss out some bad-assed kid.
ABB’s note to new city dwellers trying to reach out to neighborhood youth.
It looks like a child, but it may be a heathen. Settle your ass in and get to know people. Give it a week (trust me on this) and the heathens and hos in training will be easily distinguishable from the children.
You dumb-assed problem causing with no solution having motherfuckers!!!