Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Sex Ed.

Last night I volunteered at a shelter for homeless moms. The class topic was women's health and we were covering sex. It might seem weird to some for us to be teaching women's sexual health to a bunch of young women who clearly have already done the deed. But trust me, these ladies have a lot to learn.

Based on the feedback from the class, I've made a few adjustments to the curriculum to address some issues and concerns.

AngryBlackBitch Sex Ed. 101
  1. If you're not sure if you've every had an orgasm, you probably haven't.
  2. AIDS tests do not give you AIDS any more than the dentist gives you cavities.
  3. Giving him "some" will not make him love you - sorry, but I'm keepin it real.
  4. If you don't get anything out of it don't do it - it's sex not a charitable donation!
  5. If he doesn't want to wear a condom don't give him any - ask him how the hell he knows it's better that way anyway?
  6. Lookin "fine" and being sexually healthy don't have anything in common - take his fine ass to the drug store and introduce him to the wonderful world of latex, honey!
  7. It's a baby, not a fashion accessory - get your ass a cabbage patch doll if all you want to do is dress something up!
  8. There are other ways to pay your car note - get a job and keep your self respect for the love of.......!
  9. Your Cousin Nay-Nay is not an authority on STD's just 'cause she "caught" one last year.
  10. If he cheated on you don't beat the hell out of "that Ho!" - take your ass to the clinic and change the locks. He's a man, child, not an accomplishment.

MmmmmmHmmmm. What was that bullshit someone was saying about abstinence only sex education? Chil'ren, I'm on an AngryBlackBitch mission now!

2 comments:

This Guy said...

I am ready for the soul food whenever you are! Afterwards, we'll have cheesecake AND brownies.

princessdominique said...

I had to comment. Bravo! I mean will someone post this top 10 list on billboards across America please!