Friday, February 18, 2005

Sanctified

Urgent News Alert!!! Missorians still seeking divorce due to lack of marriage sanctity awareness!

Last night a friend informed me that her divorce is taking longer than expected because of the demand for divorce in St. Louis City. What gives? It's been over 6 months since the citizens of Missouri voted to "protect traditional marriage" from the assault of ....well.....er....other Missourians trying to get married. Oh wait, gay Missourians trying to get married! So, why does it seem that 50% of married Missourians don't seem to have a "protected" marriage? I was soooo sure that divorce would end, families would stay whole and children would no longer try to kill their parents. But why come marriages still end, families still hate each other and children are still plotting to kill someone in their family for something?

Well, it pisses me off! Yeah, it makes me freakin' angry! If the State is going to deny the civil right of marriage to gays and lesbians the least Missourians can do is stay in their God aweful miserable unsatisfying sexually-drought-ridden freakin marriages. Is it a marketing failure? Maybe the protectors of traditional marriage should do an advertising campaign! Something like "Hey ASSHOLE! Stop fucking your neighbor's wife! Marriage is Sanctified 'Round Here!".

Do something, cause all this marriage ending post santification has got to be...well....sinful?

2 comments:

This Guy said...

I'm all for making divorce illegal in this country. If these ignorant neo-cons want to defend marriage on religious grounds, then I say make the bitch stay married to him even if he beats her and make him stay married to her even if she grows cold after having the kids. I know I'm being reactionary, but I'm ready to force some of my own ideas of conservative sanctity on these assholes.

Also, I have informed all of my straight friends that I will no longer be purchasing gifts off wedding registries. If I can't get free stuff for falling in love with someone, then no one gets anything from me.

Crystal-Lynn said...

Confidential to This Guy: Register online and throw yourself a big party the minute you fall in love. What do parties and presents have to do with marriage anyway?